Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Devil Wears a Hoyas Tee

Hate your job, Washingtonians? Never fear - Georgetown sophomore Charley Cooper has just the gig for you! Cooper, a mere 19 years old, is already so overwhelmed by the collegiate lifestyle - & so crunched for time as a result of holding down a (part-time!) campus job - that he's on the lookout for a personal assistant.

This is the perfect job for someone who's qualified to be a nanny but hates kids! Or someone who's prepared to be a housekeeper but hates cleaning! As his personal assistant, your tasks will include fetching Master Cooper's dry cleaning, driving him to & from the aforementioned part-time position, organizing his closet full of Vineyard Vines, scheduling his hair appointments (frosted tips, plz!) & laundering his dirties. According to his ad, you'll be eligible for bonuses at his discretion, which sounds a little sketchtastic to me, but at $10-$12 per hour, who am I to question your potential discretionary bonuses?!

Don't hate. I mean, college is really HARD, y'all! How can Master Charley be expected to keep up his 4.0 in political theory if he has to interrupt his homework to go check the spin cycle on his pleated khakis?!

But trust me, Georgetown-graduates-who-he-says-will-receive-preferential-consideration - after spending a gabillion bucks on your own education, "College Sophomore's Personal Assistant, Winter 2009" is going to look really great on your resume, so you can rest assured that taking this position is the proper next step toward bettering your future.

9 comments:

liferehab said...

lmao, I was totally considering it until I saw how much it pays... I wonder if it could be my second job (plus he's kinda cute!)

[F]oxymoron said...

We need more young, creative, savvy individuals like this to ascend the political machine and govern our country!

They have perspective.

Lots and lots of perspective.

Alana said...

OMG this is amazing. I sort of want my own personal assistant...

justjp said...

Hell the way things have been going lately, I may just apply.

JUST ME said...

I hope that guy gets hit with a lacrosse ball in his FACE.

M said...

This is too funny! Good find. Excellent execution. :)

f.B said...

I would get this job and embezzle like a mofo.

frenchelon said...

Dude looks like a walking, talking honour code violation.

Late-Night Drama Queen said...

Hahaha this is totally the kind of guy I hated in college. And my campus was overrun with them.

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