Waiter, There's a Fly In My Soup Wine!

As I mentioned earlier, this week I took a trip to Hilton Head, South Carolina with the fam. It was my first real, week-long, beach vacation since high school. Yes, I realize this is an absurdly long time to go sans vacation, but it made the trip even more enjoyable.

Also, as you know, my family is crazy. Not the overt, "Wow, those people are nutcases!" crazy that you'd notice if you were to pass us on the street or even join us for dinner. But if you listen closely, you'll catch all kinds of crazy coming out of my relatives' mouths. Notably, at dinner on our last night, my uncle spoke the line, "This week was an eye-opening in terms of oatmeal accessorization," which may be my favorite thing anyone has said. Ever. Hey, he's his mother's son - you've all read my Grandmaisms!

This week also marked the first time I've been comfortable consuming alcohol with my relations - & yes, I am nearly 25. If you'll recall, my grandma sent me a holiday card last winter that read, "Have fun - stay sober!" so, acting under the knowledge that my grandmother believes me to be something of an alcoholic, I've since been understandably wary of imbibing with the family. Lucky for all of us, I photographed a few of this week's first-time encounters.

For starters, here's my verklempt mother channeling Stevie Wonder, wearing her sunglasses throughout the meal as we dined - at night! - at a cute Greek place.


But no worries - a carafe of wine between the four of them inspired her to later remove the shades.

And here's our matriarch herself, at lunch at Plums in Beaufort, getting cranked about a small - & winged - problem with her glass of wine:


Wait, wait. Shall we zoom in on that glass?


Yes. That, my friends, is a fly. It didn't even hover or land on the rim first, just straight dive-bombed itself into the glass & promptly drowned. It was the second time it'd happened to my grandma in as many days. Apparently she attracts suicidal insects with a desire to die drunk.

Oh, & my other fave. Tuesday nights are two-for-one entree nights at the Big Bamboo, which was conveniently also serving two-for-one frozen mojitos in mason jars. We ordered six for the five of us, & when they arrived, my uncle quickly implored of the waitress, "You can bring us another two, too."


But we did more than drink, I swear. Sometimes we swam, too! But maybe not here:


This admonishment is just a few feet away from that one:


Yeah, thanks for the reminder, but the first sign was pretty successful in getting this message across, too.