Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Tale of Two Cities

Cab in NYC, 3:45 p.m. on Tuesday
My cabbie, a burly native New Yorker, screamed out the window to a woman smoking a cigarette, "I break that curse in Jesus' name! YOU DON'T WANT CANCER!" While I agree with the sentiment, it was a bizarre & borderline terrifying experience, exacerbated by aforementioned driver's inability to, well,
drive. He jolted, he jetted, he darted in & out of others cars, bikes & pedestrians, angering even the most seasoned of New Yorkers. At one point he also yelled to a street vendor wheeling his hot dog cart down the street, "AYYY, I'll take two franks with sauerkraut! AYYY!"

It was the first time in my life that I ever thought, "If I don't remove myself from this situation, I'm going to die." Carsick & scared, I asked to be let out long before we arrived at Penn Station. I paid him & promptly barfed in a Big Apple trashcan before hailing a new (calmer) cab to take me the rest of the way.


Cab in D.C., 8:15 p.m. on Wednesday
Still reeling from the allergies I acquired up in the oh-so-dirty City That Never Sleeps, I caught a cab home from my local CVS after picking up an inhaler.
Cough, cough. My cabbie noted that I sounded a little ill & upon my affirmative response, launched into a litany of get-well-quick tips that he swore would help me conquer my bronchial demons. Hot tea with lemon & honey, of course (drunk both night & day), & lots of sleep & some zinc cough drops, no matter how bad the taste -- but he also offered up a few more off-the-wall suggestions, like taking a very hot shower in the evening & then getting right into bed to capture all my bodily heat... or something to that effect.

When I got out of the cab, he seemed very concerned for my well-being. "Please take care of yourself!" he urged. "Take very good care of yourself!"

3 comments:

Julia said...

You're the only person who has more absurd experiences than my lovely hurricane. IN OHIO. Yours are funnier :o)

Blake said...

I'm offended. Clearly. But not surprised. Clearly. Again.

Jo said...

Why do absurd transportation fiascoes seem to only happen to you!? I get stuck with the damn broken trains and you get the crazy stories - no fair!

Hope you're feeling better and, as always, if you need any tea or honey you know who to call :-)

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